My Trigger

 its hard to exactly describe how im feeling at the moment... All i can remember is how hes yelling at me about how I fucked up the mashed potatoes as he says .. I swear I didnt kno he didnt like milk in them.. really i jus didn want him to kno my secret ingredient as to why they taste good .. guess the jokes on me he hates it.. first he complains the mashed potatoes are too dry so i add milk to loosen them up and make them creamy.. now hes complaining about how he hates them and how i always do that shit.. purposely cook food he dont like.. im like wth? I allways cook what he likes and how he likes it putting aside my own preferences and likes for him to be happy because he afraid to lived outside the box. I prefer my steak on a grill.. he likes them floured up and fried in a deep fryer i like my potatoes with milk and butter he them plain Jane <jus like him >.... im always finding myself settling for false happiness... idk y i do the things i do for him he doesn't appreciate me and hes always finding new innovative ways to hurt me and make me feel inferior to him.... i swear its more than milk in his potatoes.. he hates me ... i kno it .. but it breaks my heart to admit it... and to top it all off i cook cubed steak jus lik he likes it.. and threw away the mashed potatoes he hated... felt like i was washing a piece of my heart with the potatoes down the garbage disposal... fixd corn instead.. "his fav" after they are done he tells me he dont want them.... now my heart is panged with sadness .. everytime i think of his hurtful words i get sadness pangs which lead to tears hes not man enough to wipe away ... gosh i miss the old taylor .. the one who would never be soo cold and heartless. .. the old taylor would never let tears hit the floor with out being there to stop the second... im sad and i want to cry because now i cookd a nice dinner and hes not even gonna eat it.. its sitting on the stove getting cold.. glad to c how he feels about me and my hardwork...